Soluble Moral Fiber

All who have met my dog, Simone, have commented on her upstanding character. She has been widely held, by human and canine alike, as the paragon of virtue. But such qualities were apparently illusory. All notions of chastity and goodness have now evaporated because of a recent amorous transgression.

Simone got done.

Or more accurately, Simone got done and did some doing of her own. I'll spare everyone the nasty details. Suffice it to say that she and a young scrub named Drifter engaged in public coitus, much to the surprise and outrage of the human witnesses. Voyeurism, indecency, shame. Drifter, the despoiler, is ostensibly named after the famous boulder problem, High Plains Drifter (I understand there's also a lesser-known movie by the same title). However, we now know that he's actually named for his infamous "wham-bam thank you ma'am" disposition. Feigned proclamations of love, recently remembered early morning appointments, promises to call... you know the routine.

Simone -- love-lorn and abashed -- now spends her days wallowing in self-pity. She needs no external punishment. For my part, I'll travel the lecture circuit to promote abstinence-only education... for dogs. I've been much too liberal in my dog-rearing, and hope others will learn from my errors. As for Drifter, who knows? I suppose he'll tour all of the Southeastern bouldering areas, whittling away at his "tick list." It's a time of reckoning for naive, nubile dogs. Be wary.


Once virtuous, now sullied

For all who regularly visit this blog site (I think my viewership is up to about four people) I apologize for the rather domestic entries of late. Pleasant weather and time-off seem to have become misaligned, so I have fewer mediocre climbing pictures than usual. But with enough foot-stamping and teeth-gnashing, I'm sure Mother Nature will soon comply. Until then, you will know this: MY GARDEN IS FRUITLESS AND MY DOG IS A WHORE!